Former England skipper Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full consequences of the muscle-deteriorating condition that took the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was part of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and secured several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast two weeks after learning he has the disease.
"There's an element of confronting what lies ahead and being reluctant to fully comprehend that at the moment," he said.
"This doesn't mean I fail to comprehend where it's going. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a hesitation to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, explains rather he feels "at ease" as he focuses on his immediate wellbeing, his family and making preparations for when the illness worsens.
"Perhaps that's shock or perhaps I handle situations uniquely, and once I have the facts, it's simpler," he continued.
Initial Symptoms
Moody discovered he had MND after noticing some weakness in his shoulder area while training in the gym.
After rehabilitation was ineffective for the problem, a set of scans revealed nerves in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You're presented with this medical finding of MND and we're rightly very moved about it, but it's so strange because I feel like everything is fine," he remarked.
"I don't experience ill. I don't feel unwell
"My symptoms are very minor. I have some muscle wasting in the fingers and the shoulder.
"I remain able to accomplishing anything and everything. And hopefully that will persist for as long as is attainable."
Illness Advancement
MND can progress swiftly.
As per the organization MND Association, the illness takes the lives of a one-third of people within a twelve months and above half within two years of identification, as eating and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Therapy can only slow deterioration.
"It's not me that I am upset for," stated an moved Moody.
"It's the grief around having to tell my mum - as an single child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Consequences
Speaking from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was consumed with emotion when he mentioned telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the traumatic news, saying: "This was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two excellent boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody stated.
"We positioned ourselves on the settee in tears, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog bounded over and began licking the moisture off our faces, which was somewhat funny."
Moody stated the priority was remaining in the now.
"We have no treatment and that is why you have to be extremely militantly focused on just welcoming and savoring all aspects now," he commented.
"According to Annie, we've been truly lucky that the only real choice I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much duration with the kids as attainable. We won't recover those periods back."
Sportsman Association
Top-level athletes are excessively impacted by MND, with investigations indicating the rate of the disease is up to sixfold greater than in the broader public.
It is thought that by limiting the O2 available and creating damage to neural pathways, frequent, vigorous exercise can trigger the illness in those previously predisposed.
Athletic Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England caps and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in acknowledgment of his courageous, unwavering style to the game.
He competed through a fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once caused a workout confrontation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he discarded a practice gear and began throwing himself into physical contacts.
After appearing as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the end of the line-out in the critical moment of play, establishing a base for half-back Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the game-deciding field goal.
Assistance System
Moody has earlier told Johnson, who skippered England to that title, and a few other ex- team-mates about his diagnosis, but the remaining individuals will be learning his news with the rest of public.
"There will be a period when we'll need to rely on their backing but, at the minute, just having that sort of love and acceptance that people are present is what's important," he stated.
"Rugby is such a wonderful group.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it finished now, I've valued all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"Being able to call your enthusiasm your profession, it's one of the most significant honors.
"Achieving this for so extended a period with the teams that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will wish to assist in whatever way they can and I await having those discussions."
